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04 August 2009 @ 09:38 pm
I was just sat here glancing at various people and random bands I was checking out a while ago just because they were kinda catchy and had a cute guy in them.. and I am so glad I have a wonderful guy now and I don't have to look for anyone else, but just appreciate him! I can't seem to help being a bit of a striver -even without meaning to- when it comes to guys - as is clearly visible through what I write on here!
Anyway, Ben is fantastic. He's gorgeous and so great for me I reckon! And I thank God for Him. And this time I'm glad I've gone into this a little less naive, a little more cautious, more collected.. and it's taken 3 and a bit months to fall in love. I just pray now - as I hope I have all along -God's Will be done!

Lately, spiritually, I know I've not been where I'm sure I could be.. but man, I just want to be aware of this constant life -connection that GOD gives to us. He's constantly connecting, let's keep the ways open and not get it clogged up with rubbish. Talking to myself here. It's easy to write -another to do. But God will always help us do His will, and that is all the strength we need.
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Leeland -Opposite Way (on myspace -not listened to these in ages)
27 April 2009 @ 11:51 pm
It's REALLY strange looking back on my LJ life.. only provoked to because I went on Meebo and a link to this was my screen-name and so Ben was checking it out (BEN is the lovely young man I've recently began a relationship with.. more on that when I have adequate time..) But I can't believe all that's gone on.. all the FANTASTIC things, all the fun and excitement of a few years ago.. all the hopes that didn't happen, and the great things that did. All the stuff that turned out differently from what I expected, and all the vibrancy GOD put in my heart.
I know some of that vibrancy I don't feel the same way now.. and it's almost like hearing someone else speak.. but may I speak like that again.. because of something fresh The Holy Spirit does in me. I've got to give Him room.
Well that's all for now.. catch you soon.
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
07 March 2009 @ 10:45 pm
in one day!? What's going on..

Okay, I was just looking back on some old entries.. and yeah, I haven't analysed so much lately. I definately feel my head has been in better places.. so I pray it gets in a better place, maybe tomorrow could be a good day for thinking over stuff (Sunday)
Anyway I don't think any of my old LJ friends read this anymore.
Current Music: Copeland
07 March 2009 @ 10:25 pm
So... I'm back in Altrincham. And I've been given the strength and grace I need to do this week. I know His provision is always there, every day what I need is provided by God, and yet I find myself so unaware!
I gotta get into contentment again. And what it is.. this Treasure, that we have. I've got to get a poem ready for tomorrow night, can I do it in time! Argh, I hope so.
So.. as far as things go, I am just glad I'm feeling alright tonight! =D And yeah, the guy thing.. I just have to wait.
I was challenged by an online friend who isn't a Christian the other day.. he was saying something about God's freewill meaning we can choose who we love.. rather than there being just this 'one', but then.. like someone said today He has the fore-knowledge, He knows who would be good for you. Surely there'll be someone in His will? If it's part of His will for your life. Anyway.. it's an interesting thing.. Though I know it;s about trusting and not forcing, particularly as I'd rather be sough after rather than vice versa. Not that there is anyone right now!
Wow the words to that 'Stuck' song by Stacie Orrico was totally how I felt last year when I was in Chester. Just listening to it now!
Not the most poetic but extremely relational..
'Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I be wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do..
I'm such a fool
For you

I can't take it
What am I waiting for?
My heart's still breaking
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I can't stop thinking of you [last time x2]
It's true
I'm stuck on you'

But that's over now?
Current Location: Offices at the Hub
Current Music: 'Stuck' Stacie Orrico
01 March 2009 @ 11:44 pm
But I keep coming back to you don't I? haha.
Okay.. so I wanna just spill a bit..

So lately, I've been feeling a bit out of sorts. But I know this life is about JESUS. And I pray that He will lift me from this, help me to go after Him, help me to live alternatively.
I feel like I keep walking on the edge with Altrincham.. because things have toughened up on my lateness and my 'laid-back' attitude to turning up at things (I think I've had that since school.. realise it's possibly a bit fo a wrong attitude) I'm maybe feeling like that because I just found out I'm expected to be back early in the morning.
I feel.. I FEEL like my lack of energy etc can discourage me. I realise this is a battle (it belongs to The Lord) and I realise I'm probably not pulling my weight lately, and yeah.. anyway, also I sometimes get thinking on the guy thing lately. And glad have had quite a bit of prayer on it lately.
I think maybe I'm just wanting all the good things, but I know I gotta be serious about serving God. I think it's just the way I feel lately.
Saw an American guy (some Americans were atthe youth church thing tonight -fantastic stuff) and he looked just like Pete (my ex) It was David who first pointed him out thinking it was Pete! His hair was possibly just a little longer and not such a crazy beard =/ (and a bit of a side parting which Pete would probably hate 'cause I love..) anyway it was like.. I felt like I wanted to meet him. He looked lovely. But no doubt it was mostly because I wonder sometimes am I even over Pete!!! I'd still like to see him turn around and tell me he wants me. But the rest of the time I just hope to meet someone else.
Mum was praying I'd meet God's choice. I know I just need to trust. Help me Lord.
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
Current Music: 'We belong together' - Mariah Carey
16 September 2008 @ 10:08 pm
So today I went to Altrincham, it was a nice place. Quite quaint. You know when you can't really imagine living somewhere though, I don't know, I guess 'cause it isn't 'natural' circumstances [i.e just visiting -it feels different].
I know that I want God's will for my life. May it be done. May what I do, who I become glorify Him [exalt Him, be as things SHOULD be, LETTING Him have the rightful place and being in the rightful place.]
A question is.. can wanting God's will ever be self orientated.. i.e like wanting it because I want the best thing for me, instead of wanting it because I want Him to be glorified.
But then, man naturally wants the best way for himself too. Like loving your neighbour 'as yourself'. Then I thought - about this -being prepared to give up all things that come from yourself in order to gain the One thing that is the Treasure - that is Jesus and knowing Him.

And so I guess I wanna have that attitude and desire, by His grace. And I pray He leads me in this.

'He Who has called you is faithful.'
Current Location: room
Current Mood: thirstythirsty
Quote of the day; 'I'm as menacing as Minnie mouse' - Chris Day on MSN

Are any of my old LJ friends still active on here, just out of interest?
Current Mood: tiredtired
26 May 2008 @ 11:16 pm
Well it's been a long time. And God is so so so good to me.

Just using this for wonderings and ponderings....

Been wondering how he's doing lately. It has been so long -like getting on for 3 years..wow.. but yeah -if he could know somehow I'd want him to know I'm wondering how he is, and yeah.
Current Music: The Sophomore Attempt -Sky Command To Battlestations
22 December 2007 @ 07:09 pm
Back home for Christmas now!
It's crazy how things are.. how they've been. I have no doubt that God has been seeing me through everything whilst I've been in Chester. And He is still with me now. I want to still be doing His will and still be acknowledging Him during the holidays. It's weird as I don't have the same routine, but I want to keep my eyes on God! I feel I haven't been quite so since I've been back. But it's not about feelings.

Not sure when I'll next see Peter. Feeling a bit .. more like I'd like Pete's company today. But only the company where I feel loved by him. Not when things are confusing.

It's amazing how much I've been encouraged along the way of late in Chester, just to keep trusting God in it all, and knowing that yes He does have good plans! I really gotta believe that and be happy in it.
It's always despite. God is so good despite. He is so faithful. And despite any troubles or worries or testings He is still wanting us to grow and wants good for us.
And there's some fantastic young people, though I really just haven't gotten to know them yet. I guess I've been a bit scared. I don't know what, but shy.
I really want to see these young people get serious for God.

Well happy Christmas folks! =)
05 November 2007 @ 06:34 pm
I have neglected this thing for so long.. but haven't forgotten about it! Anyone still my buddy on here!? Abby? Allie? Just seeing if people are still with their old accounts! Let me know.
A small update.. am currently residing in Chester doing something called The Light Project. Have had some ups and downs.. mostly downs.. but feeling more hopeful in God right now. He is good.

-Hannah x